I wanted to thank every single friend I have for being so awesome. I really really need people my life like you.
In 2013, many things in my life have changed; my mind, my heart and my body. I change these parts of myself, because I can finally say that I love myself more than I ever have.
I know that I could never have done it without the help and support of all of you.
I also know that those of you who really, really love me, would carry
on with that acceptance, and love me regardless of some of my bad
moments. I have them. We all do. We can learn from them, or fail to, and
experiences the cyclical nature of learning.
People have asked
what I want for a present for the holidays. It's been a rough year for
me to figure out what I need, or want (two very different things) and I
have decided that I want you to do something for yourself.
So
do something to make yourself feel better about your life. Work on the
sides of you that need to be nourished with attention. If you don't
nurture every side of yourself you like, that side of you will
eventually die. Don't do that to yourself. Don't lose your identity.
Don't lose yourself.
I think that the more that you can improve
yourself, the stronger you become, and the more your have to offer your
friends, family, and community, the stronger all of those things become
as well.
Give back to the world, even when it hurts you. You
are worth it, and so is everyone else. This is why I am doing AIDS
Lifecycle. This is why I improved my body. This is why I write as a
journalist.
It is my goal to lift anyone and everyone up.
Helping my community has become my life. I want to help as much as I
can. If I can't write about it, photograph it, or brighten it up, I'm
not doing my job.
So try and inspire change. That's the best present you could ever give anyone.
MBPM
When I came out to my mother, she had just found out that I had quit high school. My senior year didn't go so well, so I was enrolled in adult school. At the time I wasn't interested in anything but going out to underground parties around four days a week. She came into my room and was yelling at me after receiving a letter from my adult school, which said I hadn't been to school in two months. She was absolutely furious, with very good reason. She asked me what was wrong with me. The truth is that I was on drugs and totally being selfish. What I said was, "I'm gay." Her response was, "Get out of my house and don't come back with aids." I left and moved to San Francisco for a month and a half. I was with a man that I had met on the internet. He was a great guy and we still get along and talk, but things were not easy for us and I ended up moving in with my ex boyfriends family back Huntington Beach. My mother called me a few times. She had calmed down and missed me so much. Two years later, she died of a staph infection of the lungs. I spent many days with her before that happened and learned that no matter how they react when you do come out, angry, sad, or whatever, they still love you very much. If they kick you out or you feel rejected, it's up to both you and your parents to make the effort to have a good relationship again. Be good to your parents, they aren't going to always be there. Do your best to give them the love they deserve, even when they reject you. My father loves me so much and has grown to understand me and appreciate me for who I am. Our relationship today has never been better. Much love. #nationalcomingoutday
